"Breathe, Release, Repeat: The Healing Magic of Letting Go”

A year ago I was driving down the road of life going 110mph gripping the steering wheel, on the edge of my seat, barely breathing and praying that I could stay in control. And in all honestly, everything in my life was going seemingly well. But in my mind I had an idea of how I thought things should be and I believed I had the power to make it all happen, in my time.

See the problem with this belief, is that you can’t control others. You can’t control every outcome. You can’t control what is outside of yourself. But I had the ideas of what I wanted in my head and was gripping so tightly to them, it stole every bit of joy from me.

So after the most stressful holiday season (self imposed of course) I did something I never do and made a resolution. I set an intention to let go. To let go of the control, to let go of expectations (of others and myself) to let go of the idea that I'll be happy when… I had to let go and find peace within myself.

Not knowing exactly how to go about this, I started meditating. A task that I had tried to adopt into my routine for 5 years, unsuccessfully. But this seemingly woo woo approach that I had never tried before landed in my lap and I figured there was nothing to lose.

I started practicing kundalini meditation on January 3rd 2023 and aside from a handful of days, I have practiced everyday at least once, sometimes twice and even three times. I instantly found such a deep sense of relief in the quiet of my mind and the approach of this practice. It has challenged me to listen to my intuition and recognize its voice. It’s given me strength when I wanted to give up. It keeps my mindset in that of abundance instead of lack. When things feel out of control, when I feel out of control, instead of trying to manipulate everything into its ‘place’, meditating aids me in letting go.

Unironically, the series of events that have unfolded over the course of the last 10 months have come with the most profound lessons and the underlying message in every one has circled right back to my resolution.

I would love to report that within a years time that I cracked the code on letting go and was ready to teach you all my wise ways…but the truth is, I think that this will be an ongoing journey. Letting go, time and time again, is as much of a practice as meditating, breath work, yoga, you name it. There will always be adversity in life and with it will come the need to let go once again. And again. And again.

Now, I'm here for the ride.

Life is fucking nuts and the less time we try making sense of it all and can enjoy the road while we are on it, the more fruitful our time here on this earth will be.

I’m happy, and proud, to say that most of the time I’m cruising at a cool 65, windows down, music up, one hand on the wheel and the other twirling my hair. Still ambitious AF, still setting goals, building relationships, working to make my dreams come true, but not at the detriment of my mental health and happiness. I trust that what is meant for me will be.

And when I feel the weight of my foot on the gas peddle or notice my knuckles going white against the wheel- I stop what I'm doing, close my eyes and tune into the divine wisdom within myself. I find the peace that lives inside of me, that is more ME than anything in this earthly realm and move forward with clear and focused intention.

I’m grateful for the opportunity in my lifetime to expand into a more concious, mindful version of myself and hope that in sharing my journey with others, I can inspire them to discover the same sense of tranquility within themselves.